updates as of NOW

Good evening all!

It's been a minute since I've written, so to my readers I'm sorry you've missed out on my ranting in the past few weeks. Last night i got home from a 10 day rendezvous with my family in Indiana. It was very exciting and boring at the same time. It seems like every time i go home, nothing ever changes. People, buildings, stores, they're all exactly the same with minor changes someone wouldn't notice until they'd been gone for a while, subtle changes. I got to see most of my family, with the exception of my father-in-law, whose number I'd regrettably neglected to put in my new phone. So I'm a little bummed about that, but i had a great time with everyone else. My mother and i eventually found ourselves going for the others jugular by the end of the 10 days, here's the crazy part; I DIDN'T EVEN STAY AT HER HOUSE!! I guess we are two people who will never get along or see eye to eye on anything. Sometimes I think she still views me as a child, how can a relationship between a mother and daughter progress when one party doesn't view the other party for who they are and what they're capable of? I need therapy to clear up the issues i have with her, so i wont waste your time ranting on a lost cause.

I've been wearing the same contacts for the last 10 days, never taking them out. My left eye is blurry so I'm thinking about ditching my contacts till I have to leave the house aka tomorrow.

OK I'm having an ADD moment! something smells terrible in my kitchen, ive been searching through all my stuff in that room today...and i cannot find the source of the smell...its driving me bat shit!!! theres no food in the house, because there was no sense of buying food when i was leaving for vacation...so the smell is not cute..and im gassing my house currently with Febreze.

on to brighter subjects. Mark is coming home next month sometime, and I couldnt be more excited..its going to be surreal to see him again, and to live with him again... I just cant wait!!! ive gotten so used to life on my own, and having him thrown back into the mix is going to be interesting and fun!!! only real changes will be my increased cooking and decreased sex deprivation..usually i only eat once a day..but my mark...he eats like a piggy...and multiple times a day! so hopefully i wont forget to feed him or anything...and find him stumbling down the stairs saying "babe we havent eaten all day im hungry" lol oh well he knows how to work a microwave if my cooking attempts falter.

weird thing happened to me today. I was reading a book a military wife wrote about her misadventures of deployment. and her dog died when her husband was away...and im not kidding its the first time since i dropped mark off when he was leaving for iraq..i completely broke down...like were talking crying so hard and squeezing my lids so tight that they overlapped...and i held my Lily for a good hour..before i calmed myself down..i couldnt imagine losing either of my pups especially when mark was away..i think i would seriously lose my marbles. im sure it seems weird to people who dont know me..but ill be the first to say it...Im oddly and very strongly attached to my dogs, hell i LOVE them more than i LIKE most people. people think its strange..but thats ok, because its part of who i am..im an animal well dog lover...like for instance..i have spent at least 2,000 in the past year in fees from the airlines to take my dogs home with me, because i dont trust anyone enough to look after them while i go on vacation. but i do trust my dad, hes as neurotic as i am about them. theyre my kids and i love them like a mother would love their child or children, that might change when i actually have a child..but for now thats my opinion on the matter. like when i was working..it killed me when id have to leave lily all day long by herself..that was before baby baron made his debut to our family..but now i couldnt imagine leaving both of them for more than 5 hours...i freaked out the entire ride home and back because Baron had to ride in air cargo, firstly because hes too big to comfortably fit in the traveling bag i use for lily..and secondly..im more neurotic about lily, not sure why..maybe because she was my first or maybe because she is always there..barons just a pup and oblivious to my emotions lol thirdly because i can only take one dog in the cabin with me and lily doesnt make a peep..and baron bitches and bitches and bitches until he gets his way...little bastard...gotta love them though

well i am now exhausted

so im going to continue this later...and this time it will not be weeks in between my posts